Random-ness | Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen review

Jun 24

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen review

This is mostly spoiler-free, unless you want to be surprised by dogs having sex.

When: Tuesday 12:01am
Where: Arclight Cinemas Cinerama Dome -Hollywood, CA
Viewed: NEC 2500 2K digital projection
Heard: Dolby Digital multi-channel surround sound

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

This was a good looking movie. Industrial Light & Magic, Digital Domain, Asylum… amazing SFX and VFX. Sound packed a hell of a punch, too.

Michael Bay (who was in attendance tonight and said a few words before the film started) and his team crafted a fine looking and sounding motion picture… but that’s where my praise ends.

Everything else; story, characters, dialogue, all the non-action, was fucking shite.

This was a big-budget feature and it showed: every minute cost millions of dollars, and Bay & co. made sure you know this. Every character was annoying; looking back all of their words in the film were incomprehensible wastes of time. Sam’s parents, his new friend, those annoying Stepin Fetchit-esque Autobots Mudflap and Skids, the Decepticon Wheelie, John Turturro, and even the US Military advanced nothing to the story that was required (or could even need). Can’t forget the family dogs that fuck for no damn reason. The overall scope of the story gets lost in itself (or, it’s idea) rather quickly. After that, everything you expect to happen in the rest of the film does, in a very annoyingly slow manner that can only be justified that it was so Michael Bay could cram as many visuals as he could into 150 minutes! This film should’ve been no more 110 minutes… but that would’ve meant less cool locations, and less cool robots, and less Megan Fox.

I have defended Michael Bay may times, I think he’s a spectacular director with a massive vision who can assemble excellent production teams to make larger-than-life films… but this was too stupidly over-the-top, even for him. Of course, the beauty of Michael Bay is that he doesn’t give a fuck.

When Bay spoke prior to the movie beginning, he thanked us the fans and said this film was for us. Well… thanks Mr. Bay, but no thanks. I personally prefer to be a fan of good cinema than a fan of your Transformers.